How to write something
One. Sit down. On a chair, a sofa or on the floor. Pick up a pen or a crayon. Find a piece of blank paper. Let the blankness of the page and the range of possibilities its emptiness brings intimidate you. Get up. Make yourself a cup of tea. Eat a cookie. Or three. Light a cigarette. Two. After failing to distract yourself, return to the sofa. Find another blank page, because the wind blew away your first one. Now write a sentence. Cross it out immediately after; it sucks. Now pick up your paper and find another place to sit because people in the room are talking . Three. Sit down again. Bend over your piece of paper. Wince at how blunt your pencil is. Write a whole paragraph at once. Wince at how the protagonist in your story resembles yourself so much. Four. Stop wincing. Throw away your paper. Write something else. This time it turns out better than anything you could've imagined. Admire your talent for writing. Imagine how wonderful this would look published as a book.