Narrative essay

Only recently I was looking at an old notebook of mine, reading the English essays I wrote before my English papers. At the end of the notebook I had copied down Creative Writing topics from past papers. As I read the list of topics, I came across one I found increasingly interesting. The topic was: 'Write a story in which loosing a passport OR an identity card plays an important part.' I found it so interesting that I began working on it straightaway. I thoroughly enjoyed myself writing it. It was days after that I had written anything other than my history, geography, and Islamiyat answers!

“Ahem. Your ID card, please,” said the plump, moustached guard at the entrance gate of the university.
“The ID card?” I blurted out. “Uh, yes, I do believe I have it somewhere in my bag” I said, half to myself. Just looking at the grim-faced guard made me nervous.
I unzipped my bulging hand bag which I had purchased only three days ago at the start of the university session. The guard peered at me suspiciously over his steel-rimmed glasses, as I digged through my jam-packed purse, scanning its contents for an ID card that had been issued to me only yesterday.

As I shoved aside my books to have more space to look, my chemistry textbook landed onto the floor. As the guard glared at me furiously, I piled up all my textbooks on the pavement so I could search more easily. I glanced apologetically at him while I rummaged through the items I had in my bag. I fished through hair pins, pieces of jewellery, cookie crumbs, pens, pencils, and God knows what not for an ID card that wasn’t there. I looked up from my bag to see the security guard standing in front of me, tapping his foot impatiently, arms crossed. I glanced back to see a couple of students queued behind me, waiting for me to move so they could pass. A feeling of utter embarrassment flooded me as I moved aside to let them go ahead.

“Uh... It isn’t here...” I mumbled to the guard. “Maybe I forgot it at home...” I said to myself. I dialled my mom’s number. After a couple of bells, my mother picked the phone.

“Hello, mom?” I spoke into the phone.
“Anum? What’s wrong beta, shouldn’t you be in your class by now?” mom replied.
“Mom, I can’t find my ID card ...” I answered. “Could you check if it’s in my cupboard? Maybe I forgot it at home...”
“OK, hold on while I look for it” came the reply.
 A minute went by.
“It’s not there, Anum” My mom finally returned. “How irresponsible of you to lose your ID card at the beginning of the university year” She said as she disconnected the call.

Uh-oh. I said to myself. I glanced at my wristwatch. It was fifteen minutes past eight. My physics class would have begun fifteen minutes ago! I would be late for class-and all because of that stupid ID card.

“Hey, maybe you’ve got it there in the side pocket of your purse” I heard a cheerful voice. I looked up to see the other security guard standing nearby. “You haven’t looked in there, you know.”

“I don’t think it will be there...” I frowned as I unzipped the pocket. As I reached inside it, my hand struck something hard and thin. Something...plastic. I pulled at it and out came...my Identity Card!!!

“You can go in now.” said the fat guard through gritted teeth. The other one grinned at me.

Words of thankfulness failed me as I ran-mad with happiness-towards the science department. Oh, was I glad to get my ID card back!

Comments

  1. What an exciting short story Zainab!! It's so gripping and intriguing because I think it's something we can all relate to - losing an important item when you really need it and only finding the things you don't need in your bag! xD

    The way you opened the passage in a disorientating way in the middle of speech makes it super interesting for the reader and efficiently drags them straight into the drama! I really like how you gave an intimidating, negative representation of the obese guard in contrast to the more positive, cheerful security guard who helped the main character towards the end too! I also love how you built up tension when the main character was looking through her bag ("her" right? xD I'm just assuming since they have hairpins and jewellery!)... the way she appears to have so much anxiety after searching for her ID card is so relatable! This sentence for example, "A feeling of utter embarrassment flooded me as I moved aside to let them go ahead." is top-notch - a metaphor that perfectly describes a realistic situation! The ending is also so relieving, the way the other, friendlier guard helped out by pointing out that she hadn't checked her purse! It adds a wave of positivity after the tension!

    Your stories are written so beautifully, Zainab, you should definitely write more stories like this! :D <3

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    1. I love your new blog background btw - the pink/red is super pretty! <3

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  2. Hey thanks Kenza!
    Yeah it's a her...My stories usually have female main characters, don't they? :D I'm working on another story these days-maybe I'll share some of it soon. :)
    Do you really like my blog background? I was thinking of changing it! I don't know, it looks too dull and boring now...well, maybe I'll keep it for a few more days...

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  3. It was such an amazing essay! Could you write essays on more of these O level topics, yours are truly incredible and it had helped me a lot! I'd appreciate it so much if you'd make a label under the O level topic essays!

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