The Interview - Story part 3/4
Okay, so I remember I promised I would complete the story in three parts, but somehow I couldn't just get enough time to work on this, so I'm having to post this in four pieces, plus this excerpt is a short one (only 446 words!) I'm sorry for this, but again, I'll try to return with the last part for this as soon as I can!
I've tried to end this with a cliffhanger, do let me know if it actually seems like one
Click here to read Part 1. Click here to read Part 2.
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For awhile I just stood there, looking remorsefully at my blemished shirt, wondering what I was going to do with it. Then I had an idea. I fished out a wet tissue packet out of my trouser pocket. It was just something I had slipped absentmindedly into my pocket, otherwise I rarely carry a wet tissue or even a normal tissue with me. I tore open the packaging and started rubbing it vigorously on the stain in a desperate attempt to do away with it. A minute later, the tissue had been reduced to debris while the stubborn stain remained untouched. The only difference was that it had become smudgier and had spread over a larger part of my shirt. I sighed.
I looked down at my coat, weighing out my options. Just then, I caught sight of the maroon tag stitched to its inside. Just Shirts, it read, and below it was written, in minuscule letters: Shop # 15, first floor, The Clifton Mall. I looked at it for awhile and then it struck me - why not go and buy a new shirt?! I had fifteen hundred rupees on me which would be sufficient for buying a decent shirt. The Clifton Mall was also nearby; I could reach there in less than five minutes if I hurried.
Filled with fresh energy, I started my bike’s engine and headed straight towards Rosewood Avenue where The Clifton Mall was located. I knew I must’ve been looking downright crazy right then, driving rash like I was, but then this was an emergency.
I violently dodged through cars and other vehicles and heaved a sigh of relief upon reaching there. I was lucky there wasn’t much traffic on the roads, otherwise I would have never arrived there on time. Not wanting to waste as much as a second of time, I swiftly got off my motorbike, locked it, and hurried into the mall building.
Inside, I sprinted up the stairs as quickly as I could. Upon reaching the first floor, I darted my eyes around for Just Shirts’ familiar blue sign board, and, upon locating it, dashed towards it. I nearly knocked into an elderly old man on my way, and - mumbling apologies - continued to run. I was determined to make it to the interview..maybe I couldn’t be there a bit before time to make a good impression, but at least I would reach there.
But my excitement and determination turned out to be short-lived. As soon as I turned round the aisle, I spotted what I was looking for, the Just Shirts sign-board. But underneath, on the glass door, there hung another sign. It read: CLOSED FOR INVENTORY.
Oh, this is such a cliffhanger! I can't wait for part 4 - it seems like he's going to miss the interview or something like that? The disappointment of that sign that says CLOSED FOR INVENTORY is quite plain in the readers face. I just can't continue without saying it one more time - I can't wait for part four! This is such a cliffhanger that I cannot wait AT ALL for part 3!
ReplyDelete*I meant part 4, not part 3. I was too excited I guess, to put the right number.
DeleteI don't know what's wrong with this post's settings...the text of the story is going out of the limits of the page. Have tried to correct it multiple times but to no avail. :/
ReplyDeleteI guess I'll have to edit the HTML text for this but I don't really know enough of coding to do something... I guess readers will just have to bear with it...apologies for the inconvenience! ;)
I think this happened to me once... I just edited it by putting a lot of ENTERs.
DeleteAnd by the way, I just need part 4 badly! (Do you know what it's like to wait, and wait, and wait for the last part with the latest one having a very, very suspenseful cliffhanger?)
DeleteOh, I know what it feels like! (btw this isn't really very good for a cliffhanger, I've been through MUCH better ones!)
DeleteAnyhow, I'll try to post Part 4/4 as soon as possible (I'm still working on it); I'll try to post it here within a couple of weeks, but still, no promises!
This continuation is as suspenseful and tense as ever! I love how Ali perseveres and clings on to his important task despite all the adversity thrown at him, while I as a reader feel almost as if it's time to succumb! Your descriptions are also incredibly realistic - like "the tissue had been reduced to debris while the stubborn stain remained untouched" (how relatable!). The possibilities you grant him as fleeting opportunities allows for revived hope that he might actually reach the interview on time and adds a great number of tension! Also, I really like your style in how you've described Ali dodging through the busy traffic - I comprehend how difficult it is to describe this kind of scenery from experience with my own story excerpts! xD My hopes sank when I reached the cliffhanger at the end... ahh in a way it's both so annoying and exciting at the same time. 8D I really must find out what happens in the last excerpt!
ReplyDeleteThis story is super gripping so far Zainab - you're amazing at writing story excerpts!! <3 One aspect I'd really be interested in knowing is your secret to discovering new methods of adversity that your protagonist has to decode in order to reach their goal... do you test scenarios before you write, for instance, "but what would happen if the shop was closed?" :)
Thanks Kenza! I love reading your comments! :) (which reminds me, I still haven't commented on a lot of your blog posts yet! I do hope to get to them soon...)
DeleteI already had a vague idea of how I wanted this story to eventually come to an end and I decided to beat the protagonist up with as many difficulties as I could just to make the ending more effective. But otherwise I don't really test scenarios (which is actually a pretty good idea) and I often get caught up with a story of my own which I don't know how to end, lol. xD