The Interview - Story part 1/4
Hi everyone! I'm finally back here - apologies for not being able to post in most of October and throughout November! (I really resent this; I promise I'll try to post more often than once in two months)
Anyhow, here's an excerpt from a story I have been working on for a while... I had intended to post the entire story in one post but because a major part of it needs to be written, typed, and edited, I decided to post it here in parts. Unfortunately this isn't too long :/ - only 493 words - but I'll try my best to post the sequel excerpt to this one in a week or so. Enjoy reading!
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Anyhow, here's an excerpt from a story I have been working on for a while... I had intended to post the entire story in one post but because a major part of it needs to be written, typed, and edited, I decided to post it here in parts. Unfortunately this isn't too long :/ - only 493 words - but I'll try my best to post the sequel excerpt to this one in a week or so. Enjoy reading!
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Trring, humm, bzz… trring, humm, bzz.. My alarm went off and I sat up in bed almost immediately. Stifling a yawn, I stretched out my arm to turn it off; surprised how it successfully woke me up today. I was the deepest sleeper in my family, and when asleep, even the fiercest of thunderstorms failed to stir me, let alone the soft, monotonous alarm tone of my mobile phone.
Was there something special today? My bleary mind wondered… after all, how on earth could I have woken up so easily on a regular day??
Then I remembered why I had woken up so effortlessly today - how could I have even forgotten??!! Today was the big day, the day I had eagerly awaited for so long…today was the day of my interview with Prestige Bank’s highermost authorities!
The Prestige Bank was the city’s finest bank, true to its name. The Prestige Bank’s General Manager had hand-picked me from a group of hundred candidates for the Branch Head of their Clifton branch, and today was my interview with the bank’s CEO and VP Operations.
In my last interview, the General Manager had told me that the bank was planning to open a branch in Dubai, UAE, and if they hired me and were satisfied with my performance, they might just select me for their Dubai Branch Head, and transfer me to UAE.
I felt butterflies in my stomach. For the first time in my life I was able to relate to that metaphor. It was a weird feeling, I could actually sense butterflies fluttering by in and around my stomach, causing it to wriggle and squirm. I even felt nauseous.
Trying to ignore my stomach’s signals, I glanced at the clock. I squinted. Seven-thirty already?! The interview was to begin at nine, but I must arrive at least twenty minutes early to leave a good impression. The motorbike ride to Clifton would take thirty minutes. Not wanting to waste any more time thinking, I abandoned the warmth of my blanket and stood up. I shivered. Thinking how chilly the weather was today, I picked up my towel and clothes and head for the bathroom.
By Seven forty-five I was almost ready. I selected a less-shabby-looking pair of socks from my socks drawer and put it on. Then I wore my gleaming pair of shoes, which I had polished to perfection the night before. I walked up to the mirror and examined myself, inspecting critically each aspect of my appearance. My hair looked fine, I decided; combed well and shaped with just the right amount of styling gel, it did not look too stiff, nor too vulnerable to influences of the wind. My bleached white shirt with grey stripes was spotless, and combined well with my black suit to form a great outfit. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, and giving the person looking back at me an approving nod, I left the room.
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I know this is not very good and the end of the excerpt is very vague and not like I would've wanted it to end, this is all I could post for now. If you have any feedback/ constructive criticism, I expect you'll share it with me in the comments. :)
Long time no post! How about a little feedback?
ReplyDeleteThe scene you have chosen is extremely appealing. You haven't chosen a everyday enviroment (I mean, you don't get a interview every day) unlike in your last story excerpt. I like the way you described his/her nervous feelings. This is quite a good story excerpt and I can't wait to hear more!
Wow you have no idea how curious I was about your new excerpts when I saw them on my dashboard, and my expectations of reading a compelling excerpt is very real! :D I was very much drawn in to the dilemma right from the start where you abruptly began with the disturbing sounds of an alarm ringtone - the way you've dived straight into this plot without too many descriptions of the setting is strikingly perfect! The alliteration in "even the fiercest of thunderstorms failed to stir me" serves a good impact and simultaneously allows the reader to rapidly understand what kind of personality this person has. Furthermore, the early use of questions addresses the reader with exactly what they are wondering.
ReplyDeleteI really like the choice of unique plot/background for your protagonist and it appears to be about an interesting subject I don't recall reading before - I'm curious to find out what will happen in this kind of situation! The way you've described the character's feelings is also very vivid and relatable (e.g. the "butterflies in my stomach" metaphor and "abandoned the warmth of my blanket" ... of course, I don't mean to dissect this excerpt like they do in English Language but honestly I can't help but pick these perfect phrases out!). The way you've left your protagonist's appearance until the end where they look in the mirror delivers the information in a flowing pattern without forcing it at the reader's face all of a sudden from the beginning (like I've seen before with different writers! xD). On the contrary to what you wrote down there, I think that's an excellent way to end this excerpt (especially since I don't yet know what comes up next); it might not sound correct to you because you know what comes after, but for the reader it leaves them hanging on a suspenseful note. ^^
493 words is a nice amount actually - almost 500! Speaking of word counts, I don't always remember to check how many words my excerpts have so that's a good reminder for me haha. Btw, have you ever heard of NaNoWriMo and/or thought about participating? :)
Hey thanks! I love your comments... :)
DeleteYeah I was thinking of participating in NaNoWriMo but I didn't have any good ideas so I just gave up on it..plus I was just too lazy I guess. :/